“Use her aggressive feelings boy, permit the hate flow through you” is the famed line by basic Palpatine in Star Wars. His implicitly is the if Luke Skywalker feeling his anger and aggression, he’ll be much more likely to it is in turned end to the dark side.
A few days ago I’ve been handling some that my very own hatred and anger in relationship to my sexuality. Powerful stuff! What struck me was just how I’d learned to address those emotions with my upbringing and also conditioning. That was mainly to repress, minimize and also vilify it.
Then, i re-experienced something in my own body which was the opposite, i beg your pardon I’d currently learned plenty of times end from mine meditation and trauma treatment training: Letting the hate flow through me and also agreeing to it. It turns out, it didn’t turn me over to the dark side, despite my and also the broader society’s fear of that. In fact, rather the opposite, doing for this reason was probably the only possible way to totally free myself from it, since hatred, it transforms out, pipeline on that own as soon as it has actually been fully felt, acknowledged and experienced.
At one suggest in my handling I wrote down in my newspaper these jarring words: I hate myself. Wow, this scared me, but the truth is that writing these indigenous down and also seeing it was extremely an effective and relieving. A part of me did hate itself and also this feeling was absolutely turned inward and versus myself. I nearly wanted to execute a little dance see the declare “I hate myself” in former of me. That felt together if I’d been repeatedly running far from this an extremely statement, ending up being extremely clever in finding means to refuse it or prevent it. And yet, once I confronted it, it wasn’t even half bad. It immediately loosened that is grip, that felt favor a component of me can finally protect against running.
My understanding is this: In order to love myself, I first have to allow to hate myself. To really very own up come it and also agree to it. Then I deserve to love the I hate myself, the hardest component to love. And from there, the hatred, currently befriended and loved, can be ~ above its way, stick approximately a bit and then, magically, leave. From a organic perspective, hatred together emotion takes increase a the majority of our body’s energy. So only if it has actually a factor to it is in here, will it pole around.
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As soon as we uncover a method to agree come it and totally feel it, alongside v the grief and also fear that it regularly comes with for me, climate it has no an ext reason come stick around.
Sorry come say Palpatine, your advice is in fact good advice! It just doesn’t do what you think it does and make us Sith lords and also ladies.